Sex Should Be an Experience Not an Event

There may be a lot of reasons that people have sex, but the most popular would be to have fun. It may be meaningless, in some occasions, but the fun factor still has to be there. Only then would the idea of feeling great follows.

There are times, however, when sex is nothing more than just an event, something that was meant to be done but not necessarily enjoyed. Worse, it can become a chore. Who wants to have sex with someone who’s not enjoying it, much less having fun? If you’re the excited party, you’ll feel like a jerk or inadequate. If you’re the person who’s just going through the motion, you’ll feel so miserable, you’d probably swear off sex for a while. This is why sex should be a great experience for the both of you.

How do you make this happen?

Identify the things that make sex bad

Are you worried that you might be lousy in bed? Do you hate having sex with little to no foreplay? Do you feel uncomfortable when your partner goes down on you or vice versa? These are just a few reasons that sex would turn out to be a bad experience for you. So find out what makes you tick the wrong way and find ways to turn things around.

Know what feels good

Now that you know the things that make sex bad, find out what makes it feel good. If you prefer long and satisfying foreplay, say something. Or, learn a few tricks that won’t make your partner immediately jump the gun, so to speak. If you think you’d be lousy in bed, get advice from sex professionals or find ways to learn a few skills you can use.

It would also help if you masturbate. It’s one of the best ways to know which part of your body needs to be given attention, to get you turned on, excited and just mindless to everything else but reaching orgasm. Another idea would be to use sex toys and then experiment. You can use the same pleasure toys to make sex with a partner more interesting. Reading books and magazines also helps, as doing so will raise your curiosity further. Maybe then, you’d want to try a different position.

Love your body

It’s normal to feel conscious about your body, especially if the media has you convinced what a perfect body is supposed to look like. Unless you learn to love your body, you’ll never be comfortable undressing in front of someone else, or having sex in broad daylight or when the lights are on. Remember, what you may think is sexy, might not exactly conform to your partner’s own definition of sexy. He could be quite happy and satisfied with your body. So explore it and appreciate every curve, line, scar and the like. Use a mirror if you have to. What’s important is that you fully embrace yourself, including your imperfections.

Prepare the scene

Forget about candlelight dinner and romantic music. Research shows that engaging in activities that get your heart beating and pumping like crazy is better than doing something that suppresses it. This means aerobic exercise is preferable than candlelight and slow music. You need to feel pumped up for good sex anyway, not relaxed and sleepy. It would also help to build up the anticipation. Send sexy text messages or a picture of the sexy lingerie you’re wearing underneath. That is, if you intend to wear one at all.

Sex needs to feel wonderful for you and your partner. If it feels anything but positive and fun, work out your issues using the tips listed above. As Marquis de Sade said, “Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other”. So let loose and just have fun in bed or out of it.

"Learn How to Make Money with Your Feet! Take a Moment and Download the Special Report: The Ultimate Home Based Business for Women"